I have tried a few times this weekend to write something about the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary but the tears fill my eyes so quickly. They blur the computer screen and I haven’t been able to finish. I don’t know that right now will be any different. But I feel like I need to write something. Even though I don’t really know what to say. I am feeling the same emotions we all are – immense sadness, anger, frustration, despair. Those precious babies. The little ones who lost their lives on Friday were the same ages as my girls. It’s such a magical age. Those sweet innocent children went to school on Friday excited to see their teachers and friends. Excited to learn. Excited for recess. Excited for Santa to come. I can’t stop thinking about those amazing teachers and the principal. How terrified they must have been. They were all heros. I can’t stop thinking about the parents hearing the news and not knowing if their child was safe or not. Not knowing if their friends’ and neighbors’ children were safe or not. I can’t imagine a worse feeling. This heartache affects so many people. Parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends, the whole community. The whole nation. We are all grieving. So many lives will never be the same. I want to scream. I want to rewind time and do something to stop this from happening. I want to hold my kids so close and never let them leave our house. But all I can do is cry and pray. My prayers go out to everyone at that school. To the community of Newton Connecticut. Such a beautiful small town that reminds me for all the world of the beautiful small town I grew up in. This just all hits too close to home.
Children, staff, and families from the Sandy Hook Elementary School – there is nothing anyone can say or do to take away your pain. But I pray that you will feel the overwhelming amount of love and sorrow and empathy that we are all feeling. I pray that you will know how loved you are. How loved your precious angels are. I pray that you will feel Gods love and know your angels are safe with Him now. I pray that you will feel His arms around you. That you will feel peace and strength and the support of a nation during this most difficult time.
Erin,
There are no words. All we can do is pray.
I came across this poem on The Sandy Hook Facebook page. I wish i knew who wrote it, but I don’t. It touched my heart. I wanted to shre it with you.
My prayers are with the family and friends of the staff and for the parents and family of those precious babies. May the peace of God be with all of them…And the world.
Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
They were filled with such joy; they didn’t know what to say. They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. “This is heaven” declared a small boy. “We’re spending Christmas at God’s house”.
When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
Those children all flew into the arms of their King and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.
“Then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe,
Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, “Let My power and presence re-enter this land!
“May this country be delivered from the hands of fools” “I’m taking back my nation.
I’m taking back my schools!”
“Then He and the children stood up without a sound. “Come now my children let me show you around.”
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, “in the midst of this darkness,” I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”
Erin. This is Cathy. I don’t know why my comment above came up under my daughters name.
I’m Jewish and that poem has tears streaming down my face. Thanks for sharing it and may the memory of all those little ones be eternal.
It is just too sad. Seeing all the pictures of those beautiful babies, just broke my heart for their families. It also breaks my heart for the children who had to witness this and live with the memories of it for the rest of their life. It makes me so scared for the future and I hate that. It seems these things just keep happening more and more and are getting worse each time. I can’t wrap my mind around the pure evil of it…
Beautifully written, Erin. My heart is so heavy and sad. Loved the poem above too. ~gina
It is just so sad, it feels like a nightmare. I just cannot wrap my brain around how someone could do that to these innocent little angels and their brave teachers. I have a sweet little kindergartener and I am terrified to send her to school. What a sad world we live in that it has come to this. Your words are exactly what I have been thinking and feeling for the past three days.
I cried all day Friday. Every time I sit down to write a blog post I can’t seem to find the words to express how I am feeling. My son started kindergarten this year. You assume when you send your child off to school they are going to be safe. I can’t begin to imagine what these families are feeling. There is nothing that can will bring those kids and staff members back. It is heart-wrenching to even think about. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And prayers to all those families who are affected by this horrible tragedy.
Erin, I feel just as you do. I cry every time I watch the coverage on the news. My stomach was in knots sending the kids off to school today. We live in MA, which is close to CT. Its so rural & quiet out here.
I just pray for healing for these families & its a harsh reminder to us all to soak up every minute w/ our kids & treasure the time we have.
There really are no words. It is just so so sad. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and, like you, I’m tempted to just hold them tight and not let them leave the house! We had a shooting scare here at Fashion Island the day after. It’s scary that every time something tragic and crazy like this happens, someone else is inspired to do the same. What is wrong with people???
Thanks for sharing that poem Cathy…it is so beautiful!!!!! Crying my eyes out
Well said. Such a sad and terrible day. Every day is a gift.
Thank you for the kind comments everyone. We are all feeling the same sadness. Unbelievable sadness over what happened.
Cathy – that poem was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. I don’t think anyone could read that and not cry and feel Gods love. I am trying to picture that very thing. Those beautiful children happy and safe in Gods arms.
Erin, you said it beautifully. We are grieving with the people of Newtown and praying for God’s comfort for them. It is just unbelievable and so very heartbreaking. Words do fail. Hoping they can feel the love.
Vickey E.
My thoughts exactly, Erin. I cannot put into words how I feel about this tragedy. Being a mother myself I cannot imagine the amount of pain and desperation that came over those families. I am from Germany and by the time I heard about what happened at Newtown it absolutely choke me and I was in tears. My heart goes out to all the affected families and I pray for those innocent children and staff who lost their precious lives. I send my love to them from a totally different part of this world and I think every single parent on this planet does! Julia
Oh my goodness, Cathy -that poem leaves me speechless. THANK YOU. It gives me much comfort. Thank you.
Erin, I am from Mexico and this is sad for us too, because it does not mater where do you come from, your skin color, we are all brothers and sisters, we live in the same world and this affect to every one, they were inocents boys and girls, beautyful babies with all their future in front of their eyes and now they have closed their eyes forever, its is very sad to me because I am mother too, and i can´t imagine my life without my babies, my heart, my love and my prayers to all those families.
And my wish for this new year is a better place, a better world, for all of our children i don´t want my babies to live in a world whith anger, sadness and fear. I wish a happy world for them.
So awful! I too can’t stop crying, can’t stop thinking about it. Loving my crazy kids even more.! oh, it is such a tragedy. xoxo
The shooting that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary school is one of the saddest events I have ever heard about. pure evil. I don’t think I will ever be the same as I was before. It has hit me so hard. I have cried and cried and cried since hearing the news on Friday. On Saturday night, Aaron and I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking and crying about it. I try not to let my girls see my tears. I don’t want them to know. They are too young. One of the sweet, innocent victims was the oldest in a family of three girls. I read her story and lost it. Just too close to home. Sending Audra off to school today was difficult…very difficult. As I said before, I don’t think any of us will be the same. I want to write a handwritten letter to each family who lost a loved one in the shooting. I want them to know that we are crying with them, that we want to help them in some way, and that we are including them in our every prayer.
I have a six year old in Kindergarten right now. Once a week I work in his classroom assisting the teacher during “center time” and I have grown to know each of his classmates. I know who needs more help with spelling, who has a bit of trouble sitting still, who is always the first to finish an assignment, who needs to be reminded to not talk while the teacher is talking, which children are the ones my child plays with during recess, etc. The children in his class, when they see me outside of the classroom will shout my name and wave, so excited to say hello to a mom they know, to “Andrew’s Mom” as they call me. They are ALL so sweet, so special, so eager to learn and make new friends. I love being with them on my volunteer day. And this is my son’s Kindergarten class. I cannot even imagine a gunman walking into this precious classroom and shooting all these wonderful children who I have come to know so well. To even think that it actually happened to someone else’s precious Kindergarten class…my heart is just sick. It was hard to hear this news on Friday, it was hard to think about it on Saturday, but on Sunday when the photos were released…those photos of all those smiling little faces…well, that’s when it really hit me. These children are gone, stolen from their families. How terribly unfair! My heart is just sick for all those parents. Their lives are forever changed, they have been given a life-sentence of sadness and loss. Their family will never be complete again. It’s just so unfair, how one deranged (mentally ill, psychotic, evil, disturbed – whatever!) person can destroy so many lives, so many futures.
It was hard to send my children to school today. This sort of thing could happen anywhere. Anywhere! There is no place safe from this kind of unpredictable evil.
I know exactly how you feel. I hope I would have been as courageous as those teachers were if that would have happened in the 31 years I was teaching first grade and Kindergarten. Thanks for expressing your feelings so well.
Beautifully written, Erin. You echo all our thoughts. Your president’s words brought fresh tears to my eyes. The world mourns for your nation’s loss. Love and hugs from New Zealand xx
I’m tearing up again reading your words. It’s so heartbreaking. Love you Erin, and love to your sweet family. It’s so hard to learn this sadness right before Christmas.